Thursday, October 1, 2015

Unfiltered

Social media can make our lives seem a lot more attractive and appealing than they really are. I know I look at other people's instagrams sometimes and find inspiration and connection. But other times I find jealously and I'm left feeling like my life isn't enough, that I'm not enough.

I never want any one to be mistaken about my life. It is far from perfect and far more complicated and dysfunctional than a little square picture on Instagram can reveal.

I posted this picture yesterday on Instagram with the caption "Sunshine peeking through the clouds calls for lemon blueberry scones from our favorite bakery followed by the park and story time at the library. Wednesday you're gonna be a good day!"

I later posted the above picture with the caption "This is what a 3 hour nap will do when you've been boycotting naps!"

Let me share with you the moments between those pictures, the moments not captured, the unfiltered moments.

The scone we shared earlier... half ended up on the floor and I had to tell Landry numerous times to keep her bottom in the chair. 

The park trip afterwards was spent with me talking on my phone instead of playing with Landry (which resulted in major mom guilt).  

On the way to the library Landry soaked her shirt in water and I had a change of pants, socks, shoes, and a jacket for her but no shirt. I briefly considered heading home but out of desperation for some adult interaction and for someone to entertain my toddler for a brief 30 minutes we trudged on. 

We arrived to story time early so I let Landry play outside in front of the library. She unexpectedly threw herself to the ground and had herself a full blown tantrum, the likes of which I've never witnessed from her. For the first time in my mom life I had to pick my screaming and flailing child up, toss her over my shoulder and take her to the car to go home. No story time for us. 

The perfectly square pictures above leave out these details, they leave out the early morning wake up call where I plead with God to tell me how to get our child to sleep. They leave out the argument Daniel and I had that resulted in a very curt goodbye before he left for work. They leave out the missed naps, the tears, and the hardwork. 

In no way is this a call for us to post every negative/difficult moment to social media. But it is reminder that those pictures you see do not tell the whole story. They are simply a filtered moment in time. For me they are a reminder of the bright spots in our sometimes crazy day. 

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