Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Fake It Till You Make It


In college I remember me and my friends saying to ourselves fake it until you make it. It was our mantra on bad days, rough days, and when we had no idea what the future held. Looking back at the last year this mantra really seems to sum up my experience with motherhood.

I've said it before and I'll say it again... being a mom is the only thing in my life I have ever been sure I wanted to do. Maybe because of that certainty I never really thought about the adjustment that would have to take place. That who I am as a person change and grow. I had no problem feeling immediately bonded to my daughter when she was born. However, I did struggle with finding my confidence as a mom.

Every trip outside of the house I felt like I was playing a role, that someone would realize that I had business caring for this little human life. Any time Landry fussed, cried, or yelled I knew people must think who stole this baby?

Fake it till you make it...

The days when all my tricks to get Landry to sleep would not work, when Landry wouldn't any of the lunch I made her, and when another pinterest fail occurred.

Fake it till you make it...

Then suddenly 14 months have passed and I no longer am nervous when going out and about with Landry. I no longer worry about the stares from strangers when Landry gets fussy. Changing diapers when out and about no longer seems as difficult as scaling Mount Everest.

When Landry cries 99% of the time I can pinpoint the cause or reason. I don't break out in sweats when running errands with her (half because my nerves have calmed down and the post-partum hormone crash has finally subsided).

I no longer worry about every ounce of sugar that passes her lips and that bites are so minuscule in size that she does not choke.

At some point I quit faking it and I started making it. Coming out of survival mode and into thriving mode is a beautiful thing!

Life isn't all rainbows, butterflies, and sunshine over here, but I am so much more confident in my role as a mom. Landry and I are working in unison and really finding our groove.

Maybe you're not there yet, maybe you are going through a sleep regression, a mental leap, a growth spurt, and everything seems to be falling apart.

Maybe life is hard, family, money, relationships.

Just repeat to yourself...

Fake it until you make it...

2 comments:

  1. LOVE this post, sweetie and am SO proud of the awesome Mom you are! Love and miss you!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Jane, you are too sweet! Love and miss you!

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