Friday, September 25, 2015

Friday Thoughts: On Being Cool

Lately the word cool has been popping up in my head a lot. Partly in regards to the cooler weather but also in regards to being a "cool" person. I recently saw a Humans of New York post that was essentially a woman saying how her intellect was questioned because of how easily excited she was.

I have never considered myself cool and I do not mean that in a self-degrading way. If you look up on the definition of cool you will of course find the definition in regards to temperature "neither hot or warm" But you will also see "not affected by strong feelings." When I read that definition I chuckled to myself because if someone had just told me as a 13 year old girl that essentially is what being "cool" is about I could have saved myself a lot of strife. Never have I and never will I ever be someone who is not affected by strong feelings.

I feel, I feel everything so strongly. Sometimes I think people assume if you have struggled with depression that you do not get excited about things. But for me, I think my struggles with depression have led me to have a greater appreciation for the little things. I genuinely get excited about common, every day things. I get excited about grocery shopping by myself, going to the park, my favorite bakery having my favorite flavor, and Jimmy Fallon reuniting Kenan and Kel. I am not cool.

When it comes to my daughter, I take way too many pictures and post way too many to social media. Is it the cool thing to do? Probably not, I should probably instead be taking only pictures of my coffee and mountains (which I do too, don't get me wrong here). Part of getting older is really coming to terms with who you are. I feel like for so much of my life I was trying to be who I thought others wanted me to be, trying to fit in, trying to be cool. I'm done.

Here I am world. I am Brittany a 26 year old stay-at-home mom who loves country music, going to parks, shopping at Target, gets excited about ice cream and dogs, consumes way too much coffee, and loves politics. Hardly any of that screams cool, but I am totally ok with it. I am not cool, but I am a lot of fun, have a great sense of humor, and I'm incredibly punctual.

So today instead of chasing cool or whatever label you feel like you have to fit into, dig a little deeper and see who you really are.

Who are you? 


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