Friday, June 5, 2015

Why We're Only Having One Child



Yesterday when I posted Landry's 10 month update I made a comment that we are only going to have one child. I have had people ask our reasoning behind only having one child so I thought I would share. Let me first say this is our decision, it does not mean we think every one should only have one child or that we judge anyone who has several kids. I also hope every one would give us the same respect back.

Our number one reason for having an only child really comes down to finances. Raising a child is expensive! Having one is also incredibly expensive even with health insurance. We probably paid over $7,000 out-of-pocket for prenatal care and delivery for Landry. We are still paying for just the delivery of Landry! I am so incredibly grateful that I get to be a stay-at-home mom but that also means we are sacrificing an additional income. We want to be able to still go on vacations, hopefully travel internationally, and allow Landry to really participate in different activities when she gets older. In all honesty that might not be possible if we have more children. I know it sounds awfully pragmatic and cold to look at money when deciding to have more children but it is the hard truth. It is expensive and we don't want to have to cut out possible opportunities in order to have another.

Another major reason is my sanity. I am not sure I could handle two children to be honest. It sounds completely overwhelming and kind of makes me want to have a panic attack. Of course there are the times that I fantasize about having another, about being pregnant again (then I remember how I hated being pregnant), and about watching my children play together. But then I think about the days that Landry is crying and fussing for no reason, when leaving the house with her seems so overwhelming and difficult. I think about adding another child to all of that and I can't even. I also did not necessarily love the newborn stage with Landry so I can't really imagine having to go through it again.

Yes there are plenty of reasons to have more children, like a playmate for Landry. But I know so many siblings that once they are older they have nothing to do with one another. I was an only-child (until I was 19) and I really had no issue with it.

Also a funny little story. I told God when we decided to have a baby that if we were meant to only have one child let our first be a daughter. If we were meant to have more than one make our first a son because I would want to try again for a daughter. haha So I take it as a sign from God to stop having children. :)

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for this great read! I too only want one child with similar reasons to yourself and constantly get asked why only one! It's great u don't have to feel u have to apologise for what you want but instead explain that there is no problem with it!

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    1. Thank you! It is always nice to hear from other people who are allowing wanting one child. I wish all parents were a little more understanding and didn't make assumptions about only children!

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