Monday, April 20, 2015

Moving Forward












Hey everyone! I was a little terrified to take a break. I knew I needed it so I could focus on grieving, on my family, and because I wouldn't really have the time to truly devote to posting. But it made me nervous because what if I fell apart so much that I couldn't bring myself back to blogging? What if it seemed pointless in the grand scheme of things? What if no one even cares that I didn't blog? What if I just didn't miss it? But I did miss it, I don't just blog for others, I want to continue blogging, and as silly as it sounds I think my Nana would want me to. I think she would tell me "Brittany, blogging gives you an outlet, it gives you a way to express yourself, and that matters."

I guess now I am trying to focus on moving forward. When Joan (my grandma that raised me) passed way a little over 2 years ago I really struggled. It took me months to get to a point where I could see a point in anything, where I felt like I could move forward. Needless to say, I was depressed. I've had that fear this time with my Nana passing, that I would sink back into that depression. But here's the thing, I am sad. I miss her. Today I even thought, "I need to call Nana and ask her where she got that" just to realize that isn't an option. It breaks my heart and there are tears. But unlike when Joan passed, I can see light. I can imagine moving forward. Not moving on because you never move on from a person that played such an important and integral part in your life. But I can take comfort and solace in the fact that Nana knew how I felt about her, I spent time with her in these last months, and I have the memories of amazingly long phone conversations multiple times a week.

This past weekend I took the time to focus on the positives in my life- my little family of 3. I think that is what makes moving forward easier this time. I have Landry now and as corny as it sounds I can see the circle of life (Lion King much?). There is a beginning and an end to everything. Above is some pictures from our weekend. We spent the weekend enjoying local restaurants, nature, parks, cupcakes, and each other. It was exactly what we all needed after the last several chaotic weeks.

What have y'all been up to lately?

2 comments:

  1. there is no easy way to get over a heartbreak but time. I hope you know she is so proud of you!

    on an entirely different note, I love Landry's shirt!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Sully, time is definitely the biggest factor. The pain of missing a loved one never goes away but it hurts less and less over time.

      And thanks! Her "super" shirt is from crazy8 I think? And the navy blue shirt is schoola!

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