Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Same

I remember being pregnant and one of the biggest piece of advice (besides enjoy your sleep while you can) was be prepared for how everything changes. Your routine, your relationship with your spouse, your entire life.

I'm not saying I disagree, the moment I held my baby girl in my arms my world was forever changed. I have now loved in a way that I wasn't even capable of understanding 7 months ago. 

I have gotten a better glimpse at the unconditional love God has for us since becoming a mother. That definitely changes you. 

I have become a more selfless person. I truly desire to first give to my daughter before taking for myself. 

And of course what my days look like has changed. Going from working full time to being a stay-at-home mom. 

However, what people don't tell you is how in so many ways you won't change. You will remain the same. 

I had in my head what I would look like as a mother. Maybe I would be that cool mom who effortlessly lives life with a baby in tow.

Or maybe I would be the perfect housewife. Cooking gourmet meals, wearing her apron, looking put together every evening when her husband walks through the door. 

Or maybe I would be a Pinterest mom. With all the things handmade! Clothes, toys, home decor, you name it I made it! 

Well no matter what kind of mom I would be I would naturally have the patience of a saint and somehow morph into a gentler, more congenial version of myself. I would also be less emotional because as a mother I have to have my act together.  

But here's the thing. I haven't changed. I am still awkward (just like I was pre-motherhood). I know it looks like my first time out with a baby everytime Landry and I leave the house. 

I have not become June Cleaver. It's hit or miss if I will have dinner made. We eat out more than I would like to admit. And most days when Daniel walks through that door I am in yoga pants if he is lucky and already in my pjs the other times. I didn't suddenly become a woman who is constantly put together. 

I am still not crafty. Let's not even look at some of my failed Pinterest projects. 

As far as patience goes, could it be possible that I have even less? The only person that I am patient with is Landry! My poor husband and dogs get the short end of the stick with my patience. 

And me being gentle and congenial? Well I am a pretty nice person and I am still the same loud person as before. And emotions? Why in the world would I think I would suddenly get those in check? 

So for all the ways motherhood changes us and all the ways we hope it will, some things just stay the same. But that is what makes motherhood and parenthood beautiful. It looks different for all of us. 

As I settle more into my role as a mother I am becoming increasingly ok with being me. Whatever that version of a mom looks like. 

What kind of mom are you? How have things changed for you? How have they stayed the same? 


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